Friday, November 04, 2011

Malay is a fruitless language

Malay a fruitless language
by Azly Rahman

Lovely is the English language
More fruitful than that of the Malays
I could see the fruitfulness of it
And learn to appreciate juiciness when you bite into it
Unlike the dryness of that of the Malays

You can call someone an apple of your eye
And when you fall in love with that person you can go bananas
In Malay you can't call your date a rambutan
and be mistaken as an orangutan
you can be crazy in love but you can't say that I am going to be a pisang
no no no --  Malay is a fruitless language

Fruity is the English language
Better than that of the fruitless Malays

You can fall out of love and become a sour grape
When the apple of your eye left you for the Big Apple
You can see politicians become sour grapes
When they are no longer favoured in their Banana Republic
In the fruitless Malay language, when you become a sour grape
You can't call yourself a kedondong and sit under a tree like ikan temenong
You can't even call your ex-girlfriend a pulasan
          as you were the first to 'perasan' and became a sour grape

Ahh Tutti Frutti English Language
Ahhh no such things as ... buah muah ... in Malay langugae
    simply won't go as Malay is a fruitless language

English is in demand
as a fruity language Malaysians should have command
Americans can drive a 'lemon'
Can Malaysians drive a 'longan'?

Ahhh ... there there is an English fruit called 'squash'
One can even play the fruit and be good at squash
Can Malaysian be good at durians
And roll it down the bowling lane?
How fruitless is the Malay language

I have often wondered why traditional English parents love the fruit cantelope
They feed their girls that thing at an early age
Now that I am in love with the English language I know it means
     ... "can't elope" ... hah ... how fruity is the beauty of the language
But can you Malays come up with a fruit that "can't elope"
I bet you can't ... you fruitless language
   The best you can tell a girl is that she is a "jambu" but she will still elope.


When you are in love and with the apple of your eye
When you go bananas and saved from being a sour grape
When you go on a date in Strawberry Fields
Your heart will always be on Orange Alert
You will be cheery like wild cherry
No-- can the Malay language be as fruitful and fruity as this
No it can't
How could you call your girlfriend a lychee
And not expect her the smack you with her tai chi
And you go crazy over her like a Siamese mango without biji
And your heart beat fast like a magoesteen on 100-meter dash to eternity


Fruity is the English language
Darling are the clementines
Like in the song "Oh my darling ... clementine"
Try using that line via the fruitless Malay language
Trying saying "sayang ku ...limau kasturi"
And you'll see Hang Lekir and Hang Lekiu
     running after you crying like a Portuguese fruit under a Melakka tree

English even have "pomegranade"
Of which the word grenade emanate
Fruitless language Malay don't have this
The closest is the sound of the popping of buah getah
As a child visiting grandma and grandpa in Penang I would wonder
   what the heck is that little C4s of a fruit's doing

Okay maybe there is one fruity word the Malays can be proud of
is when they call their love one "buah hati"
or "fruit of the heart"
now logically, do hearts have fruits?
or fruits have heart?
unless you talk about love that is coming to fruition
and the heart is cheery like a shaved rambutan
or a repented durian that finally bathe in perfume water
                made from a concoction of limau kasturi and fermented lychee

So-- what then must we worry
Fruitless it will be
Of which language is more fruity
When we all now know
which one is
the good .. the bad ... and the fruity ... !


8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hilarious yet witty !

Laughter juxtaposed with tears...

Thank you Dr Azly !

pak yeh said...

I say English is a dangerouse and silly language.
To prove my point..

Case 1)A non English man sat in a train. Then he heard somebody calling "Look out.!".
So he looked out of the train window and bang bom bang, his head was crashed by the walls of the train tunnel.

Case 2)A non English an was driving a car. Upon aproaching a junction, he asked, shall we go left.? His co driver, an Englishan said "Right!". So he turned right instead of left, and boom bang,crash. Right was a landslide road.
Therefore English/American language is a dangerouse language.

English is a silly language.? Thats because Englishmen are very bad at spelling.
Color is spelled colour.Write and right is same sound but different meaning.Yu is spelled you.Cow and crow should sound the same because the spelling is almost the same, but the fofer is pronounced c"ow" and the latter is pronounced cr"oh". There is many more misspellings in the English language.

Anyway back the the real issue.

How is it Japanese Koreans, Chinese lean everything in their own language and the are equally advanced in Science and Mathematics.???

Do we not have to learn Science and Matheatics in Japanese languange instead of English, because Japanese are more advanced than Englishmen.???

Looks like Dr M' and Dr Azly;s PSSMI dogma has been debunked.
Heh,heh,heh.

Anonymous said...

hahaha...totally agree with pak yeh...btw,love in malay means a lot...in english we only can say i love you...but in malay...
aku cinta kamu
aku kasih padamu
aku menyanyangimu..

three words in malay spells for LOVE...

~lupa diri ke ape kamu nih?? jgn pakai la nama azly rahman tu...tuko je nama omputih...eh..faham ke bahasa melayu??~

just me.

Anonymous said...

weyhhhh. tak sedar diri nya kau ni! asal tak tukar nama kau jadi christ name je? dah alang alang duk US en? asal guna nama melayu dohhh? kan dah teremooo nihhh.
*p/s: do ya understand malay? if u don't, use google translate. but, sometimes, google translate wasn't good enough. buy englih-malay dictionary. that'll make u moreee understand what i'm sayinggg.

Anonymous said...

pipi bak pauh di layang... dats a fruit..

belajo tinggi2 tapi bengong

Zaidi said...

Doc Azly,'
Thank you for the beautiful piece of writing. Indeed Malay is less fruity than English but that is because the English fruits are seasonal.

I will try to find some of the Malay fruits...which I will get back to you. Terima kasih.

Anonymous said...

..if you want to learn the people, you have to learn the language...it's good for you to learn the English..and it's good for us to use Bahasa Melayu...speak as you will, write as you may...you may lose you race but dont walk on the air as falling down may hurt...you might end up in JB, and there is no fruitful Malay languange during the talqin hehehe

Anonymous said...

Tak guna bedebat dengan orang yg rendah iq .Bahasa melayu memang tak ada mutu sbb tu ramai org melayu tak ke mana sbb mereka tak tau bahasa inggeris.

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